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Thread: todays laugh

  1. #6211
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    Default Breaking: Pentagon awards contract to United Airlines to forcibly remove Assad

    Pentagon awards contract to United Airlines to forcibly remove Assad By Paul Sharpe On Apr 11, 2017 762k

    WASHINGTON — The Pentagon announced Tuesday it had awarded a sole-source contract to United Airlines for work related to the forcible removal of President Bashar al-Assad from Syria.
    The contract, worth $2.1 billion, tasks the airline company with locating Assad, grabbing him from his seat in the presidential palace, and “dragging him out of Damascus by his arms.” The contract also notes that Assad should be “asked several times, politely” to give up his seat of power, though if he refuses, United workers should bloody his nose up a bit, according to the posting at FedBizOpps.

    6.8 Amigos.

  2. #6212
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    Default

    6.8 Amigos.

  3. #6213
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    Default Short ones

    My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were $70. Forget it, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.

    I was at an ATM yesterday. A little old lady asked if I could check her balance, so I pushed her over.

    Statistically, six out of seven dwarfs are not Happy.

    My neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30 AM. Can you believe that! 2:30 AM? Luckily for him, I was still up playing my bagpipes.

    The wife was counting all the nickels and dimes out on the kitchen table when she suddenly got very angry and started shouting and crying for no reason. I thought to myself, "She's going through the change."

    My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.

    An East Indian fellow has moved in next door. He has traveled the world, has swum with sharks, has wrestled bears and climbed the highest mountain. It came as no surprise to learn his name was Bindair Dundat.

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  5. #6214
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    Default

    LOL.
    the bagpipes reminds me of my situation since I am sent down to the basement to practice and my dog runs
    and hides under the bed. They are loud.... of course, they are bagpipes!
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  6. #6215
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    Default

    6.8 Amigos.

  7. #6216
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    A plan is just a list of things that doesn't happen.

  8. #6217
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    Mmmm, shwarma.
    We're developing a new citizenry. One that will be very selective about cereals and automobiles, but won't be able to think. - Rod Serling


    He has erected a multitude of new offices, and sent hither swarms of officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance. - TJ

  9. #6218
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    Come on, some pulled pork sandwiches, pork BBQ ribs and share with the inmates.

  10. #6219
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    I heard the Texas Roudhouse BBQ is going to open several locations all over Saudi Arabia and Egypt.
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  11. #6220
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    Default 100 days



 

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